By HAL WILLIAMS
RIGHT, here’s a story right up the BV alley. A German hamster named Mr Goxx — in solidarity with this exceptional rodent, we temporarily suspend our house style on courtesy titles — has been trading a portfolio of cryptocurrencies since June 12.
So far, so silly season — but Mr Goxx’s performance rivals that of the experts: the portfolio was up nearly 24 percent at the time of writing. The @mrgoxx Twitter-feed documents his daily performance, and every trade he has made.
And so far, the enlightened rodent has outpaced Bitcoin and the S&P 500.
Mr Goxx “works” in the Goxx Box, a crypto-rigged “office” attached to his living quarters where he has the space and freedom to perform various exercises — which are then translated into specific crypto trades.
A hamster wheel, it goes without saying, is a central piece of kit. Mr Goxx runs on the “intention wheel” to pick which of about 30 cryptocurrencies to trade. Once the selection has been made, he runs through one of two “decision tunnels” that trigger either a buy or a sell. (Recent picks include Tron, Ripple’s XRP, Cardano’s ADA, and Ether.)
Mr Goxx’s name is a tongue-in-cheek reference to a company called Mt Gox — the world’s biggest crypto exchange, until it was compromised. Hundreds of thousands of Bitcoin were stolen, forcing Mt Gox to file for bankruptcy.
Mr Goxx’s portfolio was initially funded with €326 ($380 / £278). His anonymous caretaker / business has set trades to automatic €20 increments, but in recognition of his skills, there are plans to give him more control. Mr Goxx will soon be at liberty to choose his “buy” amount.
Love it. Move over, Punxsutawney Phil.
